“Kutes” by Muli Amaye


dont even know why I bothered goin round to see her when I couldve got a lift home from college cos Emre said hed pick me up yeah an now ive gotta walk home and its friggin freezin it aint fair that I have to feel guilty an shit when ive got me a levels but I dint think me mum would go round the way shes goin on with herself an someone had to go an see me nan an Emre was like well I can come with yer innit an Im like derrrr! no yer cant and then he starts goin on bout I shunt be bothered what anyone thinks an its okay for us to be together blah blah so Im like yeah cos me nan would love it if I turns up with someone an I aint told her bout you already I dint say someone old enough to be me dad but he probly knew I meant that an now hes gonna sulk innit

today was real good as well so I dint really need no shit from him or anyone really cos we finished our project and me an carls are gonna present it next week and we no were gonna win cos aint no one else put together a presentation like ours cos weve been spyin an if we win we get to take it to the town hall and present it there cos we have a right to influence policy teach says cos were that ones that get affected an anyways human rights is a good thing to no about even if we don’t win cos weve all got rights innit though you wunt think so if you was me I swear

an then when I gets to me nan dint even know it was me callin me daughter an shit an I was like bein really nice to her cos it was her husband that died innit an then shes sayin she cant hear me needs a hearin aid I reckon its not like im speakin French is it or like when Tola came an he was talkin like his mouth wunt move an I was supposed to understand that

an me nans been here forever so it aint like cho they all need to get a friggin grip innit an then shes goin on like were all goin to Nigeria as if

nobody told him to live there so why should we have to go anyways I aint goin no friggin way its not like its on the holiday show is it like Jamaica or sum cool island nope I aint goin thanks for askin but I aint effin goin when ive got exams an shit nope it aint happnin


Muli Amaye is a writer and poet whose work engages post-colonial history and the Black Diaspora. She is the coordinator of the MFA Creative Writing program at the University of the West Indies, St Augustine, Trinidad. This is an extract from her debut novel, A House With No Angels, published by Crocus Press.