This is the garden. There is the lawn and there are the hedges. This is your lawn mower. I have my hedge cutter. Never mow on a Wednesday at three. And never use my hedge cutters. You and I will be here every day, but it must appear that we are not here at all. See that bush over there? That’s a good one to linger behind if someone walks in the garden. Never let them see you or you will be let go. You don’t know the name of the bush? Don’t tell anyone else you said that.

Here is the tool shed. This shelf here contains the chemicals. Do you know the chemicals? Good, no need to learn them. Only Larry is authorized to spray. Larry has been here the longest. Once there was a new one, just like you. But he thought he could spray better than Larry. He spent a week in hospital on milk while they flushed him clean. But you are never the same after. He lives in the mental hospital now. Don’t put your breakfast near the chemicals. Here is the fridge where we keep our water and our breakfast. We get a good lunch. The best in neighborhood but you must bring your own breakfast. Never start work on an empty stomach.

Larry and I are the only ones who can use the top shelf. If you bring something in a tall bag and must use the top shelf, call me. If you can’t find me, go to the back door and ask for Isobel. She is the cook. She will tell you where to put your tall lunch. Never put ice in the freezer. Here is your cup. Here is the magic marker to put your name on the cup. Put your cup with your name facing out with the handle to the left side. Sometimes I use the shelf below the top shelf because I have been here a long time. You can use the bottom shelf, unless you have a tall lunch. But we’ve covered that.

Come now, we have just begun. You have so much to learn.

We work eight hours a day. Always begin your day with the rake. Never the hose. Rake past the main house and go down into the little gully. There you will find the compost heap. Don’t rake the compost heap until I take its temperature. And never rake the compost heap after a blood moon. The missing teeth from the rake will help you pick up larger leaves. Learn how to spear them with the bent teeth. This is a very fine rake. If you say differently, you won’t last long here.

The clock in the dining room strikes twelve very loudly when you are listening. Hide behind that bush if your stomach is growling. At the last strike go to the back door. Isobel will give you a glass of coconut water and a good lunch. We always have stewed chicken on a Monday and curry beef on a Wednesday. Always rinse your plate and compliment her food. If you do not, she will spit in it. Today is stewed chicken Monday. If you are going to hide behind the hedge to listen for the clock, don’t tell anyone but me.

Over there is Ivy. She is the ironer. Sometimes she irons on the back steps. She is in love with Larry. The tree cutters come twice a month to help Larry. They come with their ropes and their pullies. Sometimes if it’s a Friday, Larry climbs the tallest tree, makes a trapeze, and swings upside down singing. Ivy’s love is more about the trapeze than it is about Larry, but everyone has their fantasies. Once Ivy loved a tree cutter before Larry. But he looked at her ironing on the back step and she ironed right into his eye. He fell right out the tree. His head smashed there on the driveway. So don’t look at Ivy in the eye, especially when she is ironing on the back step.

Isobel makes small cucumber sandwiches and brings them out as a reward when Larry makes his trapezes. Don’t ever accept any of Larry’s cucumber sandwiches. That will be reported as insubordination and I can’t help you with serious offences. Sometimes Isobel makes orange marmalade. That is only if there is an eclipse or a blood moon in the sky. Isobel is capable of skinning a whole pig. Larry and I never eat the marmalade. Sometimes he pretends to feed it to the crumpled rope that was the trapeze. One day he will be caught with his ruined marmalade rope but who are we to judge the vagaries of the human mind?

Larry was in love once. The girl came from the village to help with the Christmas Eve party. Larry made four trapezes in a row that time. Instead of swinging lights, he swung upside down and shirtless. No, he has never been reported for insubordination. But that was the last time we saw the village girl. She did something that was insubordinate. And not one of us could help her.

Come now, we have just begun. You have so much to learn.

 

∞

Sharon Millar is a Trinidadian writer, winner of the 2013 Commonwealth Short Story Prize, and author of the acclaimed short story collection The Whale House and Other Stories.